My Apartment Ate My Side Projects
My brain sometimes feels like it’s two disconnected parts of one whole. I want so badly to turn the idea in my head into something real and tangible using all the AI tools at my disposal, but I physically can’t bring myself to sit down and get started. Dinner's done and my partner's gone to bed. There I’ll be, sitting on my green corduroy couch, light from the laptop creating a motivating glow around the room. My dog snoring just off beat to the music playing in my headphones, and my idea front and centre ready to meet the world… Minutes go by and I can feel my laptop staring at me, waiting for me to type something, but nothing comes.
There are days, sometimes even weeks, when I just can't bring myself to build anything. When I start planning the project, my mind wanders. When I refocus and try to build out my prompt for the AI to get going, nothing makes sense and then I lose motivation and start to spiral out of control, which in turn makes me less interested because things lack focus. That lack of focus and motivation frustrates and concerns me. Like with most things in my life, when I feel like something is out of my control, all I want to do is understand it.
Here’s what I think is going on: for the past few months, I have been buying an apartment in Amsterdam and that has entirely consumed me. The contracts are in Dutch. The notary speaks Dutch. The buying and selling agents don’t speak English as a first language. The process of purchasing something like an apartment in a new country with different social norms and laws and ways to go about things is all-consuming, and I believe that this is why my motivation for building side projects over the last two months has come to a halt.
That, however, isn't a sufficient justification for my brain because I obviously should be able to buy an apartment and build side projects and work a full time job and walk my dog and exercise and book and write new keynotes and go out with friends and make dinner from scratch every night with my partner and write that novel I’ve been planning for ten years? WHY CAN’T I DO IT ALL?
I have uncovered two very specific things that I think everyone needs to understand. Once I understood what was going on I felt a lot of the self-imposed pressure dissipate in myself. Not acting is different from not having a plan. As long as you have a plan, you’re doing OK.
Why can’t I manage multiple big goals at one time? Why does my motivation dip? Does my motivation actually even dip at all?
Two things that I want to talk about that may explain in part:
Bandwidth Tax
When something like cash, time, or headspace run low, that shortage hogs your attention. Everything else gets less attention. You don’t have enough bandwidth to focus on all the important shortages you are faced with so you block out things that you perceive to be less important.
Think of your brain as home Wi‑Fi with a fixed data cap: when one person in the house starts streaming Netflix in HD, everyone else loads in slow motion and feels frustrated.
So I’ve spent the last two months closing the purchase of a new apartment, leaving me no bandwidth for side projects. If I count a full-time job as a second thing, I’m already splitting my focus. Throw in a hobby, a relationship, a pet…
You get the picture.
Goal-shielding
The moment one big objective grabs the spotlight (like buying an apartment), your brain hits mute on all the other goals so they don’t steal its focus.
It’s like your phone’s “Do Not Disturb” mode: the current call (apartment) stays crystal‑clear while every other notification is silenced, even the fun ones.
Buying an apartment sets off a one‑two punch:
Bandwidth tax hogs my mental Wi‑Fi. Every mortgage clause, viewing, and “sign here” email eats into the limited processing power I normally spend screwing around on side projects. With the signal throttled, even typing a prompt feels laggy.
Goal‑shielding flips on “Do Not Disturb.” Because the apartment is now the star attraction, my brain automatically silences pings from lower‑priority goals so the headline task stays glitch‑free.
Together, they create a perfect lockout: the tax drains the resources I need to build, and the shield hides the very reminder that building was fun. Until the apartment situation is locked away in my brain as a completed task I’m never going to get back to building.
Fight the guilt
I struggle to stave off the feeling of guilt when I am exhausted today after two days of manual labour around the house and zero motivation to sit down and build or promote one of my side hustles.
Here’s how I help myself overcome the guilt:
I have a clear goal: Build ten side projects this year. That means if I go a month or two without something going out the door, I can catch up when I’m feeling more inspired and motivated.
I have a plan. I know what I am going to be building, how to get started on the next priority, and what I am waiting for or pushing on. Without a plan I think I’d be a wreck.
I keep it fun. This sounds silly, but I am indexing on fun when it comes to side projects. I am building solutions to my own problems. I am doing it for myself first and I want to have fun doing it. This alone removes a lot of the pressure I put on myself because it’s one of my goals to have fun.
That’s it for this week, folks, I hope you can find some value in my struggles!
—
Stay curious,
Nic
To hold myself accountable I want to share updates about my side projects every newsletter.
New
1000fifteen - An app to help me learn the 1000 most frequently spoken Dutch words and speak basic sentences.
Splitville - I am not using this version when I am out with friends. If that doesn’t change, this is heading to the deadpool soon. Try it and let me know.
Flirtbot - No change. Practise your opening line before you send it to your new match. This is coming along nicely. Upload a screenshot of your potential match and Flirtbot will help you with an opening line. Still in testing though. If you want early access, reply and I’ll share the URL with you!
Significant progress
Decision Tracker - 172 users, 11 likes and 3 comments. No new updates or releases.
Still running
Goodweeds - No change. A weed review site. Early development and currently testing out Leafy to see if it's worth me even pursuing Goodweeds.
StumbleSong - No change. Still around, still working but I haven't made any changes this month.
Deadpool
PositionMe - Moved to deadpool. I think monetising this would be too complex. An app for couples who want to try new sex positions. You both rate various positions and the app then suggests the most compatible options to you to try.
BucketListAssist - Added to the deadpool for now. Too complex for me to stay engaged.
Pixeldash - Added to the deadpool - 20 April 2025. I don’t want to build games. While this is still live on the domain, no progress has been made and I’ve decided game dev is fun for the weekends but I want to spend my time on solving problems.
A list of links that I think are worth saving and a short breakdown of why I shared it with you.
The Bauhaus clock - Beautiful screensaver clock.
Todo list AI hack - One guy’s todo list brain hack.
Five moves - An AI that sees five moves ahead.
Work music obsession - Obsessively playing this while I work.
Quote of the week - “The ultimate form of preparation is not planning for a specific scenario, but a mindset that can handle uncertainty.”
Get better feedback - Ask for something different.
Can I ask for your advice?
Do you think that a newsletter with AI-related links once a week would work? What would you add? I’m thinking of a list of ten interesting articles, tutorials, insights, quotes, jokes or whatever relates to AI sent to your inbox every week so you don’t have to go hunting to stay informed.
Do you want something like this? Reply with a “Yes” if you want to subscribe to that newsletter and I’ll let you know when the first one comes out.