Burnout Took My Ability to Memorise
One of the more unexpected consequences of severe burnout has been what it's done to my memory.
I used to memorise my keynotes without too much trouble. Not perfectly, not robotically, but reliably. I knew the beats. I knew the transitions. I knew how it all hung together.
After burnout?
It's felt like trying to load a large file onto an old computer.
There's this deep underlying lack of confidence that creeps in. That subtle second-guessing that's very hard to escape. But there's also something more physical: a brain that is genuinely slower than it used to be. Still recovering. Still rebuilding.
And no matter how much I tried to brute-force it, I just couldn't seem to get my keynotes into my head.
I'd rehearse.
Miss a word.
Skip a sentence.
Misalign a segue.
Then spend the rest of the run-through slightly off-balance, fumbling forward on rocky ground, frustrated with my broken brain, broken confidence, broken self.
Remembering That Memorisation Is a Solved Problem
Then, a few weeks ago, I remembered a book I read years ago: Moonwalking with Einstein.
It's about a journalist who trains to become a memory champion. What struck me back then, and hit me again now, is that memorisation isn't mystical.
It's mostly solved.
There are techniques.
There are methods.
There are processes.
It isn't about raw talent and brutal determination to force specific words and sentences into your memory in a specific order. That's what teleprompts are for. It isn't about "having a good memory." It's about applying systems.
That was strangely comforting.
Because if it's a system, then it's trainable.
And if it's trainable, then even a slightly slower, slightly bruised brain can rebuild.
Photo by Steve Lord on Unsplash
The Big Lie About Repetition
Most of us believe something that sounds reasonable but isn't actually true:
Repetition leads to memorisation.
If I say it enough times, eventually it'll stick.
But that's not really how memory works.
What repetition often creates is fragile recall. You're not remembering meaning. You're remembering sequence. And the moment you miss a word or skip a phrase, the whole structure collapses. This is exactly what I have been feeling, fragility in my approach.
I wasn't forgetting the ideas.
I was forgetting the script and the ideas weren't really ever committed to long term memory in the way I needed them.
I have been treating the script and the ideas as if they were the same.
They're not.
Building The Memorizer
So I decided to build something for myself and see if AI could help me.
The Memorizer is a custom GPT that takes a talk, keynote, presentation, speech, script, anything you need to internalise, and breaks it down using established memory techniques and a learning schedule.
Not just "read this again tomorrow."
But:
- Structural chunking
- Memory hooks
- Thematic anchors
- Spaced reinforcement
- Recall practice instead of passive rereading
It forces you to engage with the material differently.
Not as a script to recite.
But as an idea to inhabit.
Memorising Meaning, Not Sentences
Here's the shift that changed everything for me:
Your memory is going to change your sentences on the way out.
It just is.
Some phrases will land better.
Some slightly worse.
Some transitions (segues) will evolve.
And that's okay if you're aware of it and embrace it. If you're expecting a very specific arrangement of words to come out of your mouth every time, then you are going to be frustrated and disappointed with yourself.
What actually matters on stage isn't sentence fidelity.
It's clarity of thought, emotional conviction and structural coherence.
It's whether you understand what you're saying deeply enough that it still stands if a few words move around.
The Memorizer is built around that principle.
You're not trying to preserve a fragile string of perfect wording.
You're building a mental map.
When you have the map, you can always find your way back.
Why This Matters (Beyond Keynotes)
This whole experience has reminded me of something slightly uncomfortable:
Sometimes when we think we've "lost our edge," what we've really lost is our method.
Burnout took a toll on me, there's no denying that.
But part of my frustration was also trying to rely on old habits instead of adapting to what my brain needs now.
There's something oddly hopeful in that.
Systems can be rebuilt.
Muscles can be retrained.
Confidence can be reconstructed from structure.
If you'd like to try The Memorizer, I'd love you to.
Click the button, give it a try and send me your feedback!
This started as something I built for myself.
But I suspect I'm not the only one who's tried to brute-force their brain and wondered why it wasn't cooperating.
And if this helps even one person feel a bit more solid on stage, or in a boardroom, or in front of a camera, then it's done its job.
—
Nic